gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
