What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
