i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize