she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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