Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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