Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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