Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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