Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
