On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
