I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
