I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
