it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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