Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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