now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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