I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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