drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
