found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
