I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
