On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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