We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
