I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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