just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
