Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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