goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
