guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
