oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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