I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize