Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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