Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
