Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
