I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
