As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
