I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
