WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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