The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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