the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize