I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did not marry a roomba.
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