More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize