thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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