He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ketchup is God's man juice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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