I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
