well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
