I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want to have your abortion
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
