Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The air taste purple.
Randomize
