That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
