I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Pooping to opera.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
