and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My feet surprised me
Randomize
