whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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