So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize