That's intense
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
