It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
