Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
