Yo dont text me then not text me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize