IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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