last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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