Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
