i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
