oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
