I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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