chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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