it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
