if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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